EQ humor

[Overcast]

http://quon91516.yuku.com/topic/367/...our-group.html


I logged on last night to get a little exp ya know. Been working on AA lately, want to get Run3 so peeps will stop leaving me behind when travelling. That crap is ssoo annoying, and friggin rude.

Anyway, I go /lfg and it's not long before I get an invite to a PoN group. I'm like "What camp?" - "Caves" - /r "cool, Who is in group?" - "chanter, shammy, druid, warrior, rogue" /r "No, I mean who is in the group, names please, I need to make sure none of them are on my SL". At first he is like /boggle , apparantly he hasn't read my rules yet (pub21.ezboard.com/fquon91...=1.topic), but he finally gives me the names of everyone in the group and I check them against my alphabetized excel spreadsheet. Luckily none were on there so I head to PoN. I zone in and do a quick /shout "Quon here, REPRESENT!" , then I spin around and find the guy who sent me the tell. Mouselook spins are the shizznit.

As soon as I get invited to group I start bustin down my expectations.

/tell druid "don't be laying down any gimp heals unless I ask ok? I'll be dropping the Big Heal Bomb so there is no reason for you to waste mana, you should dot or something, or just chill and soak up the exp waiting for us to need an evac." He responds with some garbage about being able to spot heal, nuke, snares etc.. I /r "Please don't argue with the Quon. Besides you're the one who rolled up a Halfling, the least you could have done was make a Wood Elf Honie for me to look at"

/tell enchanter "Yo, KEI. And why do I have to ask you for the only thing you got invited to this group for?"

/tell warrior "I'm going to initiate you into the purple club tonight." He says "?" /r "You'll see soon enough [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] "..Another person that hasn't read my rules, I'm going to need to get more exposure.

/tell rogue "I bet you can generate a lot of aggro eh?" She says " I sure can [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] " /r "Well don't, you are dead last on my list of peeps to heal since there is no Ranger in the group." She responded but I was already typing my message to the shaman and I missed it, and didn't feel like scrolling back.

/tell shaman "I'm not sure I trust this enchanter, can you keep an eye on me with root crowd control please?" He's like "I'll do my best" /r "WTF?? If I die, we all go down, you better respect that." I think for a minute about adding him to my @#%$ List for that lame ass attitude, but I let it go this time.

/group "I get all money drops right to replenish my expenditures?" The groupleader, the warrior, says "We'll be splitting any loot at the end." /group "If you all want aego, I better see 60 platz in my trade window" The warrior repeats himself, so I wait for the 40pp to show up in my window. Time wasted 5 minutes. I can see this group is turning out to be very Non-Quonesque.


Buffs done and we rock toward the gobbie cave. I'm amazed that I didn't have to ask for levi and invis with these assclowns.

We set up and the warrior pulls the first 2 gobs. The fingertwiddler to my right manages to mez one so everybody is on the gob. I figure I'm going to go ahead and get the warrior into my purple club right away. (If you don't know what the purple club is by now, go back and read my commandments, it's like the first friggin one.) Warrior gets to about 50% and I ask him, "How many HP's you got?", by the time he responds he's down to like 30%. The timing on this @#%$ has got to be square ya know. I drop the big heal bomb on the meat shield with the Hot Key Macro "<Warrior> may you live to protect The Quon another day". I have like 2 hot key banks full of TIIIGHHT hot key macro messages. Because this clown waited so long to tell me how many HP's he had the heal bomb landed a split second to late. Now we are tankless, and I'm sitting in a frickin cave with 4 asshats and no tank. I think "WWQD?" (What Would Quon Do?), and I'm blessed with the answer, /sit, /load gate, /cast gate, and slicker than @#%$ I'm back in the Nexus safe and sound.

I decide that those freaks don't know WTF they are doing so I /groupsay "Yo, dudes, I'm gonna bust outta here and see if I can get a PoV group, Caves exp suxxors. And FYI, next time you want to group with me, someone in the group needs to read the commandments, Yo". /disband


The Quon". I want the respect, I want the platinum, I want the excitement, and I want the Wood Elf Honies all on my tip. Yeah..."The Quon". Represent.

************************************************** ***************

http://quon91516.yuku.com/topic/381/...ns-crotch.html

Roleplayers. The Quon doesn't get it. The Quon doesn't want to. And let's be real. The Quon doesn't have to and neither do you.

The Quon has had to endure a certain level of contact with Roleplayers over the levels. He see's it as a necessary evil. Along the way to god-hood, a little give and take is sometimes required to keep the wheels of xp greased. We've all had run-ins with that punk ass Druid who won't kill animals no matter how sweet the xp. Or that fucktard who won't kill his own race. Weak. At first The Quon tried to educate these dingleberries about the whackness inherent in their logic. "Dude, this Orc hasn't ever seen your lands, he don't know you ruined them and besides that, fuck him". But eventually The Quon put his blinders on and went about the business of level lapping these self-handicapped freaks 10 times over. Cause that's how you can identify "most" of the roleplayers, they're level 35...for-fucking-ever. They've got 8 character, all level 15 to 35. The Quon wants to know the point.

But now that he's the MC The Quon won't tolerate these assclowns.

So when The Quon found himself in PoJ cell group last night with an MA who obviously juggled turds as a side job at the Renaissance Fair, he knew it was on. Everything was going just fine for the most part. Respects had been paid, rules were being observed and shit. We were chugging through the xp at a decent pace.

The tank comes back empty handed on a pull and I'm all like "WTF?". And the rest of the group's looking at The Quon just waiting to back his play. The tank says, "Nothing down there to pull. Just humanoids". And The Quon is all like, "You better pull that shit! The Quon needs RUN3 tonight so he can leave all the newbs behind and hit PoV." And the Shammy's all like "Newbs?", like he was offended or something. The Quon squashed that shit with a quickness though, "You heard me mothaphucka...do something." And he was all quiet after that. Respect.

So get this, the tank actually stops looking for mobs and comes back to the camp, stands in front of me and starts teaching like he's a professor or something. "I'm a Humanoid, we're all humanoids. It would be a slap in the face of our gods to kill others like us. There's plenty of other mobs here to chose from without offending our dieties."

After a minute to stop giggling, cause The Quon SO knows what the future holds, The Quon says, "You don't do certain things you don't want to do, then blame it on the will of your god and everything's cool? Nice deal. Good to know." And this guy seems all pleased and shit like he blew The Quon's mind or something.

So we continue on for a bit and all seems forgotten.

On the next pull, The Quon watches as this door-knobs health went down faster than a Wood Elf Honie looking for a Rez in The Quons pocket. ("It's down there baby...keep looking"). I enjoy this because I knows what's coming. "HEAL". The Quon, of course, does not. What I do though is call out "The Big Heal Bomb is Inc on Warrior. But I never cast that shit. Instead The Quon loads gate and once I'm sure the Warrior is gonna take a dirt nap I say "I think you're a fuck-wit. I don't wanna heal you and Tunare says she's with me on it. Roleplayers should shampoo my crotch. Peace out".

And I'm gone.

Now who's the teacher mothaphucka.

[Loquan]

Lmao, never heard of Quon before. A very standup guy! I had forgotten about skater gnome, as it was like 8 years ago, dude is fuckin hilarious. Great posts guys! Giving me something to do at work today 0_o

[Ardenya]

Found the story of "burned woods" when I was looking around for some old laughs. If any of you guys have "Raid on VP" or "Raid on ToV" please post it, been looking for it since days. Anway. the following one is long one but priceless:

So there I was.....minding my own business in The Overthere, when all of a sudden I see the message:
"d00d sow plz".
Of course, my natural instinct was not to answer, since I thought the clueless newb (hereafter referred to politely as "the petitioner") must have been poorly informed at best.
Boy was I ever wrong.
I switch out of 1st person into an external camera, and what did my wandering eyes behold? Only myself and the petitioner.
So I says to myself...."Self? You need to edumacate this fella!"
(Keep in mind what the overall setting looked like: There I was, in skeleton form, carrying a scythe, FLOATING IN MIDAIR IN A MEDITATING POSITION, with a LARGE dark-brown skeleton named "Gibober" standing behind me.
Ummm....No, skippy, I'm not a druid or a shaman.)
I say "Wish I could, bro, but I don't have SoW. I'm a Necromancer."
The Petitioner says, "$#*&@#$ dick, sow me already! it's for a cr"
Feeling as if my feathers had been ruffled a bit, I do a "/who all dumbass" (um..pardon..I meant "/who all petitioner")
This is where I discovered the "/who all" bug. Certainly it must have been a bug, right? There's NO WAY IN CREATION the dumbas...err...petitioner could have been a level 31 Dark Elf Wizard, right???? RIGHT?????
/em begins to cry like a little girl.
Well, needless to say, I couldn't have been any more shocked than if my pet began dancing an Irish Jig.
I quickly begin the arduous task of maintaining my composure, while deciding how best to deal with this tricky situation.
I say, "Necromancer's can't cast SoW".
Petitioner says, "Bull@#$%! you cast a spell while you were running and you sped up! i couldn't catch you until you sat down! if you're not going to sow me just say so you dont have to be a dick about it a$$hole"
Yes I know....he didn't use any punctuation in that last sentence.
I say, "I have JBoots."
He says, "what are they"
Before I have a chance to pick my chin up off the floor....
Petitioner asks, "can you buff my hps my hp sux"
I say, "I can't buff you, dude. I'm a necromancer. I only have one buff that you would probably want."
He says, "yeah the one you won't give me dick"
Ok. Time to have fun with the hopelessly clueless.
I say, "Why do you need a sow?"
He says, "i need to get to burned woods to hunt. sumbody said its perfect for my level"
Yep. That's what he said......"burned woods".
I say, "man are you ever in the wrong place."
He says, "?"
Apparently he found the "question mark" key conveniently located nearby other various and sundry communication facilitators.
I didn't answer him.
He repeats, "??"
Found it twice...good for him.
He repeats, "???"
Having an IQ greater than plantlife, I sensed a pattern forming.
I say, "You are NO WHERE near Burned Woods."
He says, "my friend told me it was in kunark"
I say, "Yeah, the operative word there is 'WAS'. There was a major patch a couple of months ago after a bunch of complaints were filed about 'static content'."
He says, "?"
I say, "!"
He says, "?"
I say, ","
He says, "wtf"
I say, "no, already have some."
He says, "????"
I don't respond.
He says, "so where the @#$% is burned woods"
He lost the question mark button again. Probably popped off when he was sniffing his feet.
I say, "Well, THIS week it's south of Freeport. It changes with every patch, since they began randomizing zone locations."
My guild is hysterical at this point. And I haven't even told them the ENTIRE story yet. Just snippets.
He says, "@#$% i just got off the boat"
I say, "You don't need the boat."
He says "why"
I say, "You're a wizard!"
He says, "how you know that"
I say, "I did a /wh...nevermind....the important thing is you have teleportation spells."
He says, "oh yeah the green ones"
I nod.
I say, "Yep. The 'green ones'. Pretty nice how you have them grouped by color."
He says, "thx"
I say, "How'd you think about doing it that way?"
He says, "they were all @#$%## up when i got this char"
I say, "Sit down and mem the spell 'Fay Gate'."
He says, "why"
Question mark key is on the ground in front of your chair, guy. Mixed in with your collection of boogers.
I say, "It's going to put you within spitting distance of Burned Woods."
He says, "how do you know"
I say, "All patch messages come with a zone connection map."
He says, "oh"
I say, "Ok. You have it memmed now?"
He had just stood up after what I assumed was meditating/looking at his spell book.
He says, "yeah"
I say, "Ok. Cast the spell and let me know when you get there."
Dumba...errr....Petitioner begins to cast a spell.
A LONG time goes by.....ok, maybe 5 minutes I still haven't heard from him.
Getting curious:
I tell petitioner, "Are you there yet?"
No reply. No reply at all. [Yes, I'm a Genesis fan... ]
Obviously he's there, or my tell wouldn't have gone through.
I tell petitioner, "Hit the 'r' key to reply to me."
He replies, "i'm here now where do i go."
Right idea....wrong punctuation mark. Oh well. "C" for effort.
I tell petitioner, "Ok, do you see a hotkey on the screen that says 'Sense Heading'?"
He replies, "no"
I reply, "Hit the arrow buttons one by one until you see one."
It was a guess, but an educated one.
He replies, "found it"
I reply, "Click on it."
He replies, "north"
I reply, "Ok, you need to head east along the path. Keep going until the path turns north. When it forks to the right, take the right fork."
He replies, "ok"
Who knows, maybe the guy who sold his account on Ebay worked his Felwithe faction up.
He replies, "sumbody told me i shouldnt be here cause i'm a dark elf"
I reply, "They were roleplaying."
He replies, "oh hehe @#$%@#$ morons ;P"
Priceless. Utterly priceless, I tell you.
I reply, "Where are you?"
He replies, "i see something now. looks like a castle"
I reply, "Run into the castle as fast as you can. The guards might give you some trouble, just keep running."
Yeah...damned conscience started kicking in.
A fairly long period of time passes. Not sure how long, but longer than I was expecting.
I tell petitioner, "What happened?"
As if I didn't know....
He replies, "my spells are gone!"
I reply, "What happened?"
He replies, "i died why"
I reply, "Oh man! Did I tell you to run east or west?"
He replies, "east wtf???"
I reply, "Yikes. My bad. You should have run west."
He replies, "?"
I reply, "So where are you now?"
He replies, "how can i tell"
I reply, "Look right after you see 'Loading please wait'. It should tell you 'You have entered [zone]'."
He replies "it doesnt say [zone] there."
After smacking my head against my monitor....
I reply, "What does it say in place of [zone]?".
Get this....
He replies, "Burning Woods"
I nearly fell out of my chair! I couldn't have PLANNED it that way!
He replies, "is that the same as burned woods"
I reply, "No, but you're close. Start running south so you can get your corpse back."
He replies, "i have to get my corpse back?????"
/ignore petitioner
Moral of the story: EBay...Just Say No!
Out of sheer curiosity, I took him off ignore later to find out what happened.
I tell petitioner, "How's it going?"
He replies, "wtf? where you been"
I reply, "been afk, sorry."
He replies, "got my corpse back. some dude rezzed me."
My conscience somewhat eased...
I reply, "Really? Cool! Where are you now?"
He replies, "iceclad ocean"
I scratch my head a few times.
I reply, "Why Velious?"
He replies, "the guy that rezzed me told me burned woods was in western wastes this week"
I don't recall exactly how long it took me to stop laughing. I stopped breathing shortly before my dog dialed 911.
He replied, "@#$%&* wouldnt sow me either. what is that sh#$ gold?"
That's what finally killed me. I'm writing this from the afterlife.

[Ardenya]

And this is the followup, covering the rezzer's PoV:

Here comes some idiot Dark Elf running past me, running straight down the road that is going to lead him to Felwithe. I scratch my head, and being the nosey sort of Dwarf that I am...I send him a tell.
I tell the DE, "Wait"
DE tells me, "?"
I sigh into my ale as I take another long draught off of it before running up to him and saying, "Ye really don't wanna go messin around over there with them High Elves' They look like pansies, but they aint."
The DE stands there with a vacant look on his face for a few minutes before just running away. Do a /who on the DE and find out he's 31st level. Ok, so maybe he knows what he's doing. I've seen Ogres in North Freeport, after all. I go back to drinking my ale.
Out of curiosity, I send him another tell a few minutes later.
I tell the DE, "Not gettin' into any trouble over there are ye?"
DE tells me, "STFU !@#$% roleplayer"
I sigh into my ale again, finishing it off. Ah, tis the season of the twit.
I stand up and head towards Felwithe to resupply my ale.
Just as I get to the gates of the ugliest city on Norrath, what do I find but a dead dark elf and a pair of guards snickering and cleaning their weapons. Now this is priceless.
I do a /who on the poor soul and see he is in Burning Woods. Being the sucker that I am, I feel compelled to rez the twit...after all, I am a !@#$% roleplayer and I roleplay a !@#$% cleric...albeit a !@#$% grumpy one.
I sit down to mem Reviviscene and while I am waiting for it to refresh I send the DE a tell.
I tell the DE, "Would ye like a rez?"
DE tells me, "no i want a !@#$% sow dumbas i have to run south to get my corpse back so dont be a dick and just sow me plz"
I look around for an ale but unfortunatly Brell hates me at this moment in time, so I simply reply. "If I rez ya, ye wont need to run south to yer body. You will appear at yer body. I am not standing near you, I am standing near yer corpse."
DE tells me, "d00d rez plz"
As I sigh I look at my Holy Symbol of Brell and sigh "I'm gonna get a stout named after me right?" and I tell the DE "Consent me so I can rez ya" but I get no reply. No reply at all. So I say it again "Consent me so I can rez ya"
DE tells me, "ok you can rez me"
I sit down again at this point. I have no ale and this is gonna take awhile.
I tell the DE, "Type /consent and my name" Being a smart dwarf I tell the DE, "/consent Cleric_01" and say again "Just like that" before he can make my head hurt more.
Sure enough, I recieve consent to drag his corpse. So I stand up and get ready to drag the corpse when suddenly I am denied permission to drag his corpse. I begin to think like him and I think "WTF?" So I tell the DE, "No...just type it once. One more time. That's it. Dont type it again" thinking that as soon as I get this over with, I can go buy more ale and my head will stop hurting.
I recieve consent and I quickly drag it towards the zone since this is the direction the guy was going anyway. I get the body by the zone and cast Rez on it, comforted by the fact that I am one heal away from being done with this guy.
The naked DE appears in front of me and I stand up to cast my final spell of this exchange when he says to me "your that !@#%% roleplayer" and then a moment later, almost as an afterthought "thx"
Compelled at this point, I ask "Why were you running into Felwithe when you are KoS?"
DE says, "I was going to burned woods"
I say, "Burning Woods?"
DE says, "no dumbass i go there when i die i want to hunt burned woods"
I say, "Who told you to go hunting in Burned Woods, inside Felwithe?"
DE says, "some dick who wouldn't sow me" and then "will you sow me plz, its for a CR"
I stand there drooling on myself for a moment, trying to catch up. I havent had an ale in a good 20 minutes at this point, so I am starting to see spots.
DE says, "dont be a dick just sow me before they move the zone again"
I stare at the lad and ask "Move Burned Woods? Again?"
DE says, "yea"
I finally snap and say, "They aren't going to move it again. Once they moved it to Western Wastes, with all the snow, it stopped burning."
DE says, "i saw a burning tree"
I say, "Exactly my point. Now if they would only move Burning Woods there it would stop too and people wouldn't go there when they die."
DE says, "can you sow me, its for CR"
I say, "sow doesnt work in IC until you get past EW and then it will work for CR's only until you get to WW, then ask the first person you see for sow there." I add as an afterthought "Sometimes they look like flying blue things but they can sow"
DE says, "wtf???"
I say, "Allow me to use smaller words. You do not need a sow yet. Do what I say and you'll get there right away." and then "Sit down and mem the spell Bind Affinity"
DE is silent for a bit and finally says "its red" as he is standing up I say, "I am glad they covered Colors this week. Now target yourself and cast this spell. " He just stands there for a minute, so I add "it will r0ck" and he begins to cast the spell, binding himself behind the guards at Felwithe. I feel somewhat better already, maybe I dont need ale.
DE says, "it said bound" and begins to giggle
I say, "Now sit down and mem the spell Iceclad Gate. This will r0ck even more."
DE says, "this one is green"
I say, "You're damn good at those colors man"
DE says, "thx"
When the DE stands up I say "This is going to take you to Iceclad Ocean.
It's an ocean so that's why they moved Burned Woods there....to put it out."
DE says, "what about sow"
I say, "Remember that sow wont work until you are on a CR in WW. In fact you actually run faster in snow if you set the RUN button to WALK. Do that now."
DE says, "ok"
I say, "Now cast Iceclad Gate....the Green one. Remember to run straight out of where you appear and dont stop swimming until you hit Burned Woods." DE begins to cast a spell and I zone in to get my ale....remembering that the Ignore list cures most headaches that ale cant and feeling somewhat better about going back to Sebilis.

[Ardenya]

Haha, finally found the VP trilogy, its too long to post but here's a quote:

Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 300 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 193 damage
Ranger yells for help behind you and to the left
Cleric: Quick casting my $*%
Wizard begins to cast a spell
Wizard's spell has been resisted
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Wizard for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Wizard for 800 damage
Wizard has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer puts on sunglasses
Warrior: Well there's a taunt at least
Bard summons water from his boots
Cleric has cast a spell
Ranger has regained 900 hp
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger: ***? I stopped attacking 20 secs ago
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Ranger is completely healed
Cleric: There we go
Magician begins to cast a spell
Ranger is enveloped in fire
Shaman: Well at least he's useful now
Necromancer strikes up a conversation with Jimi Hendrix
Necromancer lights a cigar
Monk kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 450 damage
Warrior kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 3 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon is stunned
Warrior: Woo hoo
Druid begins to cast a spell
Monk uber-punches A Sky Blue Dragon for 800 damage
Warrior kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 10 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon is stunned
Warrior: Twice in a row!
Warrior sticks his tongue out at Monk
Druid hits A Sky Blue Dragon for non-melee for 1020 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
Necromancer begins to debate the philosophy of "The Matrix"
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Paladin begins to cast a spell
Druid feels a healing touch
Cleric: %*^
Paladin: Sorry
Cleric's casting has been interrupted
You must be standing to cast a spell
Bard summons water from his boots
Druid: You mind?
Bard summons food from his pants
Bard: What? Can't you see I'm using my armor's special abilities
Rogue backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 400 damage
Jenkins backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 500 damage
Jenkins laughs an elemental laugh at Rogue

http://www.hentges.net/misc/TheSafehouseRogue.html

[Overcast]

Originally Posted by Loquan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Lmao, never heard of Quon before. A very standup guy! I had forgotten about skater gnome, as it was like 8 years ago, dude is fuckin hilarious. Great posts guys! Giving me something to do at work today 0_o

Make sure you check out "The Quon teaches the classes to the masses." on the first page of this thread - that's the best, lol

[Glaani]

Cyber with The Quon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So I'm medding in the Nexus and I'm weeding through the barrage of "group with me Quon" and "We need you for uber xp Quon" tells I always get as soon as I log in, when out of the blue I get a random /tell from some honie.

"FUCK you Quon".

I'm pretty sure I remember this scooties name so I check on my Shit List first to see if she has upset the Quon in the past. Nope. I check my other Excel list "Honies I want to Cyber with". It takes a hot second though cause it's a monster Excel joint, and I'm all about enabling macros and shit. Yep, she's there and I have her stats too, sweet little inky enchantress with perkies and maxed out DEX and AGI, you know what I'm sayin. A bit low on INT for a caster but Quon was only looking to "group" with her in the loosest sense of the word. (Don't forget to ask The Quon about the night he spent "2-boxing" some other time...bwahhhh)

Lady Marmalade is a little fast on the draw, all wanting to jump right into the final act before we can do a little pre-lovin. I try to slow the shiznit down by throwin back some sweet nothings to her. Cause the one thing my grandma told me that I'll always remember is "Quon, you gotta lick it before you stick it". So I'm all like.../r "Yo baby, I want it bad as you, I ain't never had no blue stuff, but daamn girl you shakin like J-Lo on crack. What you say me and you tangle our tongues before we do the nasty?" And I say it just like that cause the honies love it when The Quon comes at them all hard verbally and shit.

She responds with "OMG!", I can almost hear this chick moaning out The Quon's name as she's typing, like she was washing her hair in one of those cracked out shampoo commercials.

I'm all like screw it if she wants it that bad who am I to hold out on her. So I put it all on the table.../r "Come on over here Smurfette and rub your Orbs and you Infinite Void on me. Let the Quon show you how to get Shizzle with the Bizzle." Cause I know that will get her all hot and shit. I continue cause I don't want to lose the flow.../r "Sweet thing I got more moves than a Grandmaster Monkey, you and me were meant to do the Kunark Krotch Rock, awww yeeea we're gettin freaky now aren't we baby?" And I'm really into it so I stand up at my cpu and start gyrating my hips and I'm hollaring at the top of my lungs..."Feel It, Feel It!", until my moms screams up at me and I sit down and get back to it.

So this DE is all like "Welcome to my list!"

I'm all like, Sweeeet. Cause regular cyber kicks ass. So I tell her, /r "That's the stuff baby, you're on my list too. Write this shit down. I give her this laundry list of what Quon needs to have done for him to "DING" if you catch what i'm saying. And Quid Pro Quon like, I ask her to give me her list so I can help her with her "Alternate Advancement". (Yeeeahhh).

She doesn't respond, I figure she's got her hands too busy to reply. I fire off some more sexual healing for my new Inky Cyber Buddy.../r "You're crazy hot for The Quon ain't ya? You can't help that you dig tha flava. The Quon just summoned his Hammer of Divinity and it proc's like a muthaphucka. And just when you can't take anymore, I'll toss my 'lil Hammer Pet around the back way on ya. Free your mind and your ass will follow."

This chick has got to be steamin hot by now, and I'm rubbing my Thumb over Firiona Vie's plastic boobies trying not to spill my SoW Potion too fast, it's time to take this shiaat to the next level.../r "Let's stop with this lame ass typin shit, fire off your digits to me, and send me your pic via email to TheQuon2003@yahoo.com, I'll talk at ya. Yo"

When she sends the pic I'll post it, she'll be whack ass embarrassed but at least I got mine.

Quon out

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Awesome stuff [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Bigcountry23]

I remember a post similar to the denny's one, but it was an average day through the eyes of an EQ player (slaying the alarm clock, boss scowling at you, etc.). Can't find it though. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Crash]

Burned Woods is classic, love it.

[Mimn]

LOL. Thanks for the classic Quon posts, still funny second time around.

Quid Pro Quon is STILL the funniest eq-line ever