Self-improvement thread! (pls no negativity or politics)

[Cecily]

Originally Posted by Nocht [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

That is something I can relate to! Had to quit smoking and gave up smoking weed about four months ago. I was an every day smoker and now I'm sober af, it took some getting used to but I feel much happier now with that monkey off my back.
Gratz!

Thank you! You've got like half a month on me. Congratulations! Keep it up. It was bad for an entire 3 months and I just felt useless that whole time. Starting to feel better psychologically and I need to right now because this semester is hard AF. Women and your anatomy. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Originally Posted by pink grapefruit [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Tomorrow has come!

School:

I legitimately tried the focusmate thing, but the guy I matched with never showed up. It was giving me anxiety sitting there awkwardly in front of my webcam, but that's what I get for being a sad lazy person. My plan is to force myself through this awkward webcam stuff until I learn my lesson and start acting right. Anyone foolish enough to stand in my way will suffer for it, and that includes me.

The time I was supposed to spend on webcam was spent creating my study materials. It was nice to finally get over my study paralysis. I will continue with it after posting here.

Keep me posted on what works for you. I'm experiencing the same more or less. Congrats on getting past it! I think the biggest thing is cultivating a habit. 1 hour of studying every day minimum (advice given to me from a nursing leadership student who was about to graduate) should be doable and help make studying less of an ordeal to get started.

[pink grapefruit]

Originally Posted by Nocht [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

That is something I can relate to! Had to quit smoking and gave up smoking weed about four months ago. I was an every day smoker and now I'm sober af, it took some getting used to but I feel much happier now with that monkey off my back.

Gratz!

congrats on the sobriety that shit hard [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I'll be able to give you a better answer in the future but I THINK CBT is more changing negative thought patterns so they don't lead to negative behavior. I think this approach is complete horse shit. And DBT is more practical in the moment acceptance and dealing with situations? I mostly know I vastly prefer DBT having gone through a lot of useless CBT therapy. The DBT tools I've used on my own have been way more useful, and I'd like to try a therapist who uses that modality.

DBT was designed for Borderline Personality Disorder and is actually useful for treating it. If it can help those people deal with their emotional extremes, I figure it's a good way for anyone to learn how to regulate their emotions.

I'm definitely interested in DBT. Maybe someone has a good book recommendation; I love self-help books!!

Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Thank you! You've got like half a month on me. Congratulations! Keep it up. It was bad for an entire 3 months and I just felt useless that whole time. Starting to feel better psychologically and I need to right now because this semester is hard AF. Women and your anatomy. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

It only gets better from here, one hopes. Glad you're feeling better Cec <3

Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Keep me posted on what works for you. I'm experiencing the same more or less. Congrats on getting past it! I think the biggest thing is cultivating a habit. 1 hour of studying every day minimum (advice given to me from a nursing leadership student who was about to graduate) should be doable and help make studying less of an ordeal to get started.

Yeahhh the hard part for me is getting started. I'm the absolute worst procrastinator. So the focusmate is my plan for that, and it seems to be working. You probably already have your study style down, but in case it's helpful for anyone:

I use this app called Anki where you basically make your own flashcards. Can sync it with your phone too so you've always got your study stuff ready to go. Whenever I end up in those awkward RL situations where you pull your phone out to avoid interacting with people you can study. I use it constantly. Trying not to dox myself, but here's what it looks like as I prepare my study materials:

[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Tunabros]

going to focus on school

and play eq less

and talk on here less (hopefully) [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[unsunghero]

For Cecile, since she insists I post my personal health goals:

I’d like to keep the visible six pack that I have

I’d like to continue to never smoke or over-drink

I’d like to be further into first place the next 5k run I compete in. 2 minutes between me and the person in 2nd wasn’t enough

I’d like to move up from 365lb squat to 405

/sigh

[unsunghero]

I apologize to anyone else for trying to be motivational. It helped me but wtf do I know

I will only post support of others in this thread, no more motivational stuff

[starkind]

I've learned a lot of dialectical behavior therapy stuff it's pretty cool. If you have intense emotions or urges you want to stop or change it's got options.

[unsunghero]

Originally Posted by starkind [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I've learned a lot of dialectical behavior therapy stuff it's pretty cool. If you have intense emotions or urges you want to stop or change it's got options.

Ya I think DBT has become the gold standard these days. Change non-effective thoughts/beliefs, changing destructive behaviors, radical acceptance of things outside one’s control

I only had a full on panic attack once in my life. I did have a lot of stress at the time and a lot on my mind, and when getting out of the shower all of a sudden heart was racing, room was almost spinning, walls started closing in. Had never experienced one before so was a bit freaked at first, almost thought I might be hallucinating. But from working in behavioral health I knew about grounding techniques/mindfulness so I put myself through the paces. Touch the towel, what does it feel like, what color is it. What does the floor feel like, what can you smell. Hear the AC buzzing overhead

Ended up quickly pulling myself out of it. Big fan of grounding, it really can work

[Cecily]

DBT is my favorite. Avoiding and refusing to accept reality is where most of our pain/trauma comes from. DBT gives you tools to confront and accept things and move on. I always found CBT absolutely worthless.

[pink grapefruit]

Originally Posted by Ooloo [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I think it's important to remember everything isn't stacked against you. Like I'll argue about politics and whatever in here, but I would literally invite anyone in these forums into my house if they were in need. I don't wish for the demise of people I strongly disagree with, I put their humanity first. I didn't always think like that, but it's clearly a better path forward. It's easy to get sociopathic online and to forget we are all humans and fundamentally we should all have eachother's backs. Especially cause we're all everquest dorks.

It is nice to remember that our similarities outweigh our differences.

Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

105 days nicotine free.

Nice, Cecily!! <3

Originally Posted by Tunabros [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

going to focus on school

and play eq less

and talk on here less (hopefully) [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Those are good goals. Hope you keep us updated.

Originally Posted by unsunghero [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

For Cecile, since she insists I post my personal health goals:

I’d like to keep the visible six pack that I have

I’d like to continue to never smoke or over-drink

I’d like to be further into first place the next 5k run I compete in. 2 minutes between me and the person in 2nd wasn’t enough

I’d like to move up from 365lb squat to 405

/sigh

Yeah I prefer everyone sharing goals, too. If you have the six pack abs genetics I'd imagine that simply keeping up your endurance training would be enough to ensure you don't lose them. Legit endurance athletes never seem able to hold on to much fat as their training ramps up.

The squat goal is a good one, too. What I hope for myself is to be stronger than those with better cardio endurance than me, and to have better cardio endurance than those stronger than me. I want both.

Originally Posted by unsunghero [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I apologize to anyone else for trying to be motivational. It helped me but wtf do I know

I will only post support of others in this thread, no more motivational stuff

Moderation in all things, right? :P

I am also a ho for motivational bullshit, but maybe one link a day would work better lol.

Originally Posted by starkind [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I've learned a lot of dialectical behavior therapy stuff it's pretty cool. If you have intense emotions or urges you want to stop or change it's got options.

Originally Posted by unsunghero [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Ya I think DBT has become the gold standard these days. Change non-effective thoughts/beliefs, changing destructive behaviors, radical acceptance of things outside one’s control

I only had a full on panic attack once in my life. I did have a lot of stress at the time and a lot on my mind, and when getting out of the shower all of a sudden heart was racing, room was almost spinning, walls started closing in. Had never experienced one before so was a bit freaked at first, almost thought I might be hallucinating. But from working in behavioral health I knew about grounding techniques/mindfulness so I put myself through the paces. Touch the towel, what does it feel like, what color is it. What does the floor feel like, what can you smell. Hear the AC buzzing overhead

Ended up quickly pulling myself out of it. Big fan of grounding, it really can work

Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

DBT is my favorite. Avoiding and refusing to accept reality is where most of our pain/trauma comes from. DBT gives you tools to confront and accept things and move on. I always found CBT absolutely worthless.

That's interesting. I'm reading a CBT book from the 80s rn. How does DBT differ from CBT?

Anyway, thanks for posting guys. This is nice; maybe something positive can come from spamming EQ boards?

[unsunghero]

Originally Posted by pink grapefruit [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Yeah I prefer everyone sharing goals, too. If you have the six pack abs genetics I'd imagine that simply keeping up your endurance training would be enough to ensure you don't lose them. Legit endurance athletes never seem able to hold on to much fat as their training ramps up.

The squat goal is a good one, too. What I hope for myself is to be stronger than those with better cardio endurance than me, and to have better cardio endurance than those stronger than me. I want both

I had posted this vid before, but this guy Pavel is brilliant when it comes to giving a good overview on endurance building. He does training for navy seals, special forces, and elite competitive endurance athletes in the past. If you just watch a few minutes, it becomes quite clear that he really knows his stuff

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=

When it comes to improving squat/deadlift/bench, the big 3, I really like this smaller channel. This elite powerlifting athlete is very soft-spoken and pleasant to listen to, very knowledgeable, and he does videos where he critiques viewers form on lifts they submit. I actually found that these critiques are more helpful than just being shown the powerlifter’s personal way of doing it, because everyone has a different body type and what works for a powerlifter may not work for everyone

https://m.youtube.com/c/calgarybarbell/featured

It sounds like I’m speaking to another fellow what we call “hybrid” athlete, meaning someone that wants to dabble in both cardio and lifting, and be as good as possible in both. This is me as well. Unfortunately, these are somewhat mutually exclusive in the fact that upper body muscle is often “dead weight” for endurance sports like distance running. But these are not mutually exclusive to the extent that many in the fitness community claim. A lot of the fitness community act like doing cardio and following a clean eating plan will result in “LOSING YOUR GAINS” due to burning muscle. Based on my experience, this is largely overblown. Just stick to shorter distances like I do, such as 5k’s or shorter runs, shorter cycling if you want to cycle etc. It’s really only long distance half or full marathons that will really fully deplete the body’s glycogen stores to the point where it might need to start cannabalizing muscle. But make sure you are taking in enough calories and don’t be scared of complex carbs such as whole wheat bread, oatmeal, etc. Carbs are only unhealthy for sedentary people who are not burning them, but that are very important as an energy source for active people (more: I am not a dietician and there are effective diets such as Keto that may be completely different)