Funniest Trains Stories, By Vril

[redghosthunter]

Trains are hilarious and a phenomenon .. and whenever i think of them, i start laughing no matter how bad they hit us/me. Of course, during that moment i would curse and swear to the top of my lungs, but all was good a few minutes later. Especially now .. i wished i could be run over by a few of them.

Anyways, few years back i found this index and was laughing sooo hard. I couldn't find it here via the search option or anyhitng similar, so forgive me if i am double-posting. Also, i translated this text into english, so bear with me should you find a few expression or grammar fails here and there.

Here we go, enjoy! [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
Vril

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How to calculate your train points correctly.

Trains in "The Game" are inevitable. Yet, as of today, no effort has been made to establish a scientific basis to rate these extremely common and evil forces of nature.

To be a counted as a valid train, the train has to be accidental in nature. Every idiot can maliciously create a train. Those don't count. Trains have to come from the bottom of ones heart.

This extensive index would not have been possible without the thousands of painstaking pullers out there. I would like to thank each and every one of them with my deepest felt sincerity, but i don't have too much time on my hands since i still have dozens of corpses to loot. So a simple "thanks" will have to suffice.

1.) The Pulling
You are the puller -10 pts
Your group doesn't know that you are the puller +15 pts
Your group doesn't know that you are pulling at the moment +10 pts
You deliberately told the group that you aren't pulling at the moment +50 pts
You were pulling while group members were AFK and you knew about it +5 pts per group member
You, being the Enchanter or Cleric, were pulling +15 pts

2.) The Warnings
Did you warn the zone before the train made the impact? -20 pts
Did you warn the zone AFTER the train made the impact? +30 pts
Did you claim to have warned the zone before the train made the impact, even though it's not true? +40 pts
Did you warn your group that a train is incoming? -10 pts
Was it encoded? ("hmmmmmm" or "OMG" or "3 inc i believe and maybe an add") +10 pts
Did you deliberately tell your group that no train was coming? +20 pts

3.) The Content
Quantity of the mobs? +10 pts per mob in excess of 4
Did one of the mobs have the ability to summon? +10 pts
Did one of the mobs have the ability to Gate? +20 pts
Did one of the mobs have the ability to DeathTouch? +10 pts
Did the mob DeathTouch someone other than yourself? +20 pts
Was it the bard? +30 pts
Did the train include named mobs and/or rare spawns? +30 pts
Did the train include gods (Innoruk, Cazik, Rallos Zek...)? +40 pts
Did the train include more than 50% of all the different mobs in the zone? +25 pts

4.) The Impact
Witnesses saying: "WTH?" +5 pts per witness
Witnesses saying: "WTF?" +10 pts per witness
Witnesses saying: "OMG!" +5 pts per witness
Witnesses saying: "OMFG!" +10 pts per witness
Did you force witnessing Monks/SKs/Necros to use Feign Death? +5 pts per
Did you force witnessing Clerics to cast Divine Aura? +10 pts per

5.) The Escape
Did you survive your own train? +50 pts
Did you commit suicide to ease your conscience? -50 pts
Surviving group members who didn't even have to use Feign Death? -30 pts per

6.) The Aftermath
Did you take responsibility for your train? - 25 pts
Are you sorry? -50 pts
Did you brag about your fabulous train via the /shout channel? +50 pts
Did you blame Lag for the train? +10 pts
Did you blame the Bard for the train? + 15 pts
Did they believe you? +30 pts

No confirmed deaths -200 pts
Confirmed deaths +20 pts per
Confirmed deaths of classes with Feign Death? +20 extra-pts per
Confirmed deaths of victims who were trying to loot their corpses from a previous train? +50 pts per

Numbers of insults/accusations via the /tell channel from victims and witnesses +10 pts per
Numbers of Congrats from SKs, Monks or other pullers +20 pts per

Did they petition you? +20 pts
Did you /shout that trains are normal and a part of the every day life in "The Game" or something similar? +15 pts
Did they petition you NOW? +40 pts
Did some of your group members log out without looting their corpse? +15 pts per
Did some of your group members cancel their accounts? +100 pts per

7.) For Professionals Only
Dead Guides +40 pts per
Dead GMs +60 pts
Did some of the corpses have to be summoned or did the zone need to be restarted in order to undo the damage of the train? + 50 pts

Total group wipes +50 pts per group
Total raid wipe (all positive points doubled)
Did you ruin a roleplaying event? +50 pts
Was it a wedding? +100 pts
Was it YOUR wedding? +200 pts

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/lmao
Vril

edit: Forgot something and fixed some typos (and added new ones) .. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]