My Plan to End the Matriarchy and Revive 80's Style Toxic Masculinity

[Encroaching Death]

Look Ladies, you had your chance. You caught us at a weak point in our life where we let go of the reigns because, collectively, we really wanted some sex.

It's time to take back the TV remote.

Pull the car over, we're driving this again.

Ever since Steve Whatshisface invented the iPhone, we've been idolizing Nerds.

No more.

Now the douchebag from the 1980s teen movies will be our hero.

We will ban ALL comic-related movies and media.

Star Wars is for loser nerds.

We're coming close to making Star Trek cool - and that's dangerous.

Bullying will be MANDATORY in schools and each child will have to use at the MINIMUM 50 homophobic slurs per semester.

No one has received a Swirlie since 1993. We need to change that.

Children will no longer learn Music, but how to choke out an enemy and field strip an M82 Barret rifle.

Food will NOT be served at schools. Boxes of rats will be released where students will fight each other for slivers of rat carcasses.

Students who die of starvation will be used for tomorrow's lunch feast death match.

Women will no longer be able to talk.

Math will focus on weapon ballistics and Science will focus on better ways to kill each other.

Space travel will also be encouraged, but only because we want to weaponize it.

Sweets and sugar will be banned. The only foods that will be available is raw Tuna and Creatine power (and pre-workout)

Arnold Swareznegger will be cryogenetically frozen so he can be used to create extremely militarized action films for propaganda purposes.

Hands will be removed and replaced with guns upon request.

If we follow all of these steps, we MIGHT have a chance against China's inevitible invasion.