The Kingdom of Project 1999

[onmove_broke]

The Kingdom of Project 1999

On the ancient lands of Project 1999, where dragons ruled the skies, clerics prayed for mana, and every contested spawn could turn into a diplomatic incident, there was one guild whose name carried a particular weight:

<Kingdom>.

Other guilds had raid forces.

Kingdom had an empire.

When Kingdom showed up at a raid target, the atmosphere changed. Guild leaders who had been confidently discussing strategy suddenly discovered urgent reasons to check their spreadsheets. Raid forces that had spent three hours assembling somehow developed mysterious connectivity problems.

And then there was the loot.

Kingdom didn't merely acquire loot. Kingdom collected history.

A contested dragon would spawn, and within moments Kingdom's forces would descend upon the zone like an organized medieval army that had somehow discovered Discord. Warriors formed ranks. Clerics positioned themselves. Enchanters began doing whatever terrifying mathematical rituals enchanters do.

Meanwhile, another guild would arrive.

"Hey guys, we were actually here first."

Kingdom would pause.

There would be a moment of silence.

Then someone in Kingdom would calmly say:

"No."

And somehow, that was the end of the negotiation.

The other guild might bring fifty players.

Kingdom would bring fifty players who appeared to have been personally offended by the existence of the other fifty.

The battle would begin.

Within minutes, the competing guild's raid force would be scattered across Norrath, staring at loading screens, corpses, and the realization that perhaps tonight wasn't their night.

Kingdom, meanwhile, would be standing around the corpse of whatever unfortunate raid boss had just been introduced to the concept of overwhelming force.

"Good fight," someone would type.

It was not, in fact, a good fight.

It was an ass-whooping.

And Kingdom became famous for them.

Other guilds would develop elaborate strategies for dealing with Kingdom. They studied spawn timers. They analyzed raid compositions. They discussed positioning, numbers, tactics and diplomatic options.

Kingdom's strategy was considerably simpler:

Show up.

Win.

Take the loot.

Repeat.

Eventually, the lesser guilds of Norrath began telling stories about Kingdom around virtual campfires.

"They're coming."

"Who?"

"Kingdom."

"How many?"

"Doesn't matter."

And that was the terrifying part.

Because Kingdom wasn't simply another guild competing for raid targets.

Kingdom was the guild other guilds measured themselves against.

If you beat Kingdom, you had accomplished something.

If Kingdom beat you, you had experienced Tuesday.

And so the legend continued.

Dragons fell.

Loot disappeared.

Guilds complained.

Raid leaders typed increasingly angry paragraphs.

Kingdom kept marching.

For on Project 1999, there were many guilds.

There were brave guilds.

There were ambitious guilds.

There were guilds with excellent raid strategies.

And then there was <Kingdom>—

the guild that showed up, shit all over everybody's raid plans, took the dragon's stuff, and went home.

Long live the Kingdom.

[onmove_broke]

<Kingdom> doesn’t just beat other guilds—it shits directly on their entire raid night.

Other guilds spend hours building a raid force. Kingdom spends five minutes deciding which guild they're going to shit on first.

They show up, stomp the competition into the dirt, steal the target, scoop up the loot, and leave the other guilds standing around asking, “What the fuck just happened?”

Guilds make plans.
Kingdom makes casualties.

Guilds fight for raid targets.
Kingdom shits on them and takes the target anyway.

Guilds celebrate getting a dragon.
Kingdom celebrates making another guild rage-log.

On Project 1999, everyone knows the rule:

If Kingdom shows up, somebody is getting shit on.

And it probably isn't Kingdom.

[Zadrian]

RnF just doesn't hit like it used to.

[CrazyPro]

says the guild that spent 2 hours clearing to feshlak and then lost it to another guild running up

[onmove_broke]

On Project 1999, <Kingdom> doesn't raid—they shit on people.

Other guilds spend hours organizing raids, building armies, and convincing themselves they have a shot. Then Kingdom rolls in and shits directly on the entire operation.

Kingdom shits on guilds.
Kingdom shits on raid forces.
Kingdom shits on contested mobs.
Kingdom shits on your FTE.
Kingdom shits on your loot dreams.

Players hit the dirt so fast the server barely has time to announce the wipes.

Every dragon becomes a Kingdom toilet.

Every competing guild becomes toilet paper.

And when the dust finally settles, Kingdom is standing on top of the corpses, collecting the loot while taking one final, enormous shit on whatever guild was foolish enough to show up.

<KINGDOM>: Come for the pixels. Stay for the dirt nap.

[OriginalContentGuy]

Originally Posted by onmove_broke [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

On Project 1999, <Kingdom> doesn't raid—they shit on people.

Other guilds spend hours organizing raids, building armies, and convincing themselves they have a shot. Then Kingdom rolls in and shits directly on the entire operation.

Kingdom shits on guilds.
Kingdom shits on raid forces.
Kingdom shits on contested mobs.
Kingdom shits on your FTE.
Kingdom shits on your loot dreams.

Players hit the dirt so fast the server barely has time to announce the wipes.

Every dragon becomes a Kingdom toilet.

Every competing guild becomes toilet paper.

And when the dust finally settles, Kingdom is standing on top of the corpses, collecting the loot while taking one final, enormous shit on whatever guild was foolish enough to show up.

<KINGDOM>: Come for the pixels. Stay for the dirt nap.

I need to tell you something I've never told anyone.

I am a member of Kingdom.

On EverQuest's Project 1999 server, Kingdom is what gastroenterologists would clinically describe as a "hypermotile omnidirectional zerg." We don't raid zones. We *process* them. Nagafen. Vox. Velious. All of it passes through Kingdom like roughage through a very enthusiastic colon.

The guild Discord has a channel called #loot-distribution. It should be called #what-came-out.

Here is where it gets personal.

My grandfather ran a sewage treatment facility outside Bratislava for thirty years. He called his work "returning things to their essential state." I used to find that embarrassing. I now lead Kingdom's Tuesday zerg into Plane of Fear with 60 people who have never once read a pull strategy.

We shit on the zone. We shit on competing guilds. Last week we accidentally shit on ourselves when half the raid aggroed Cazic-Thule during a bathroom break. Real bathroom break. The irony was not lost on anyone.

Grandpa would have understood.

There is something clarifying about being part of something that moves through Norrath like an unstoppable biological event. No finesse. No elegance. Just Kingdom, digesting everything in its path.

I regret nothing.

The loot was incredible.

#EverQuest #ProjectP99 #GuildLife #ZergNation #NorrathProblems #GastroenterologyMindset #KingdomGuild #MMORPGTruths #PoopGuild

[onmove_broke]

I'm 60 years old, I've been playing EverQuest since dinosaurs roamed Norrath, and I still shit in a sock because apparently that's easier than finding a bathroom.

But even I ain't seen anything like this Kingdom fella.

He'd stroll into your camp, look at your group, take one sniff, and say, “Nice camp. Be a shame if somebody Kingdom'd it.”

Next thing you know, he's stealing your mobs, stealing your loot, and leaving six corpses in the dirt.

Back in my day we called that being an asshole.

In Kingdom?

That's called Tuesday.

[OriginalContentGuy]

Listen, I'm gonna tell you somethin' you're not gonna like.

Some nobody in the Plane of Fear last Tuesday — we'll call him "Ranger McFreeAgent" — had the audacity, the AUDACITY, to tell Kingdom we were "just a zerg guild."

Ma fangul.

You know what a zerg is? A zerg is what happens when you got NO organization. Kingdom ain't a zerg. Kingdom is a *structure*. We show up forty deep to Nagafen's Lair not because we're desperate — because we made an arrangement. You want Velious gear dropping without seventeen other guilds breathing on your neck? You come talk to us first.

Ranger McFreeAgent is now farming Crushbone belts. Alone.

We don't run protection rackets. We simply ensure the server understands who controls the spawn windows on Green.

Capisce?

The gabagool was good. The loot was better. And if you're a casual who thinks you can just waltz into Veeshan's Peak without a conversation?

We know where your bind point is.

#EverQuest #Project1999 #GuildLife #ServerPolitics #ZergNation #KingdomGuild #VirtualOmerta #SpawnCamping #GreenServer

[onmove_broke]

I rode into the Plane of Hate thinking I was the fastest gun in Norrath.

Then Kingdom rode in.

I drew my weapon. Kingdom drew theirs.

I fired first.

Kingdom shit on me.

I tried to flank 'em.

Kingdom shit on me.

I called in reinforcements.

Kingdom shit on all of us.

By sundown, my whole posse was taking dirt naps while Kingdom stood over us, polishing their pixels and shitting on everything that still moved.

I’ve been shot by outlaws, bandits, and damn near every son of a bitch west of Qeynos.

But I ain't never been shit on like Kingdom shit on me in Plane of Hate.

That day, I learned the only law in Hate:

Kingdom shits. Everybody else hits the dirt.

[onmove_broke]

The victim arrived at Raptor Island, looked around, and found the place empty.

So he started pulling.

Five raptors later, Kingdom logged in.

“It's his camp.”

The druid explained that nobody had been there. He was already pulling. Surely there was enough Norrath for everyone.

Apparently not.

Kingdom began pulling mobs out of his quad, nuking the ones he snared, gathering the rest, and resetting them on him.

Then came the dirt nap.

He petitioned.

The response?

Need video.

So the poor bastard did what every reasonable EverQuest player does after being shit on by Kingdom:

He went to Rants & Flames.

The witnesses arrived.

One poster summed up the entire situation with:

“known server scumbags.”

Another looked at the state of the server and simply asked:

“And people wonder why the population is going down.”

Someone else threw up his hands:

“No wonder this place is fucked.”

And Kingdom?

Silence.

Because Kingdom doesn't answer accusations.

Kingdom answers with another camp.

Another mob.

Another corpse.

Another dirt nap.

Soon the forum wasn't discussing whether Kingdom was guilty.

It was discussing whether this was simply what playing P99 was like now.

And that may have been the funniest part.

Because somewhere on Raptor Island, a druid was lying dead in the dirt wondering what the hell had just happened.

Meanwhile, a Kingdom member was standing over his corpse, surrounded by the mobs he'd just stolen, probably thinking:

“Nice camp.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Rants & Flames forum came to understand the Kingdom philosophy:

Your camp isn't your camp.

Your mobs aren't your mobs.

Your dignity isn't your dignity.

And if you're foolish enough to complain about it?